Do we ever think of how our partners must feel when we are in depression?
I often hear similar stories to, “We’ve been together for a long time and I love him/her, but I’m not sure if I can tolerate this much longer”. Deep inside I know my wife must have had similar thoughts at some point.
If not for ourselves but for our loved ones who go through all the trials and tribulations side by side with us we should continue our fight with unemployment and depression.
It’s very hard on them because depression is selfish by nature, and we tend to concentrate on our own fears and problems, while they’re left to look after the whole family, out of their minds with worry and fear for us, not knowing how to help.
So, today I’m just saying thanks to our partners for putting up with us, and I also want to share few tips which might help them to help us and to keep the family together.
1. Your biggest challenge is to motivate your partner. Get them on the move; be it running together or going for nice long walks, exercise will help to build up serotonin – “happy” hormone in the brain.
2. Let them know there is no shame in downgrading for a job they are overqualified for just as a temporary solution. Again, it will keep them active, i.e. less prone to depression and will lighten your financial burden.
3. Build back their ruined self-esteem, ask help in a project you know is up to their skills, involve your friends and relatives in it, make your depressed partner feel needed and appreciated.
4. Depression or anxiety are both serious illnesses, so be patient, research the subject and see what professional help you can find for your partners. If you persuade them to go see the doctor, he/she will probably prescribe them some antidepressant drugs and refer your partner to a specialist, a psychologist.
Remember, depression treatment involves not only medications, but working on the roots of the problem and learning how to react to the situations differently.
5. Adopt tough love approach. Make sure they know how you feel about them NOT doing anything to overcome the depression, let them know that if they are not prepared to treat their depression you will leave, although you love them very much.
6. Find a group support for yourself, where you can talk and share invaluable experience with other people in the same situation.
7. Be as upbeat and optimistic as possible, – watch comedies, do things together, listen to good music, adopt a pet, pamper yourself as well – you need ways to distress and feel alive, otherwise you have no energy to help your partner in their fight with personal demons.